Elimidate
by Sailor Aurora Helios
Summary: Heero stars on the show Elimidate! Warnings: Shonen ai, character bashing, OOCness.


ElimiDate

By: Sailor Aurora Helios

Started: Tuesday, July 16, 2002

Finished: Tuesday, July 24, 2002

ElimiDate

Doo doo do! (theme song)

~Introduction~

          "Hi my names is Heero Yuy, I'm looking for someone that can balance out my stoic personality. I would like someone who is fun, but knows when to be serious." Heero says to the camera as he leans against a wall, arms folded against his chest. In his hand he holds four roses.

          "Hello! My name is Relena Peacecraft. I'm rich, snobby, and queen of the world. My favorite color is pink! I like to stalk people. Lets see uhm, did I mention I'm rich? Oh! My brother is Milliardo Peacecraft slash Zechs Marquese slash Preventor Wind. I'm rich, I like pink and stalking and I'm a rich stalker and and and…" Camera man turn off camera hoping the annoying banshee stalker will shut up.

          "Hello, I am Dorothy Catalonia. I think war is beautiful! I want some one to start a beautiful war just for me!" Dorothy says dreamily.

          "*blinks* Where'd everybody go??" Dorothy says after she scares everybody away with her FREAKISH eyebrows.

          "Hiyas! I'm Sylvia Noventa, I don't like war that much. I'm the daughter of Marshall Noventa who died in the war… Anyways! I like, puppies and chocolate and sugar! I think the perfect guy is fun loving and loud!" Sylvia says cheerfully.

          "Good afternoon, I am Sally Po… I like younger boys *evil grin*  Younger boys are good and nice and amazing. *evil grin* I'm also a doctor." Sally says making the camera man nervous slightly.

~Time to meet~

          Heero blinks as a pink limonene pulls up. 'Who drives a pink limo?? Oh god, don't tell me she's one of the girls'  Heero groans as the driver opens the door and a girl with honey blonde hair and blue eyes steps out.  She wears a pink blouse with a matching skirt that goes down to her ankles.  She is wearing matching pink high heeled shoes. Heero shudders at all the pink, placing down the other three roses he walks over to her.

          "Hello, my name is Heero Yuy. What is yours?" Heero says handing her the rose.

          "Queen Relena Darlain Peacecraft." Relena says staring at the rose in her hand. She frowns at it.

          "It's not pink." She says flatly. She tosses it aside and opens her arms gracefully to hug the Japanese boy. Heero reluctantly gives her a quick hug.

~Off To The Side 1 on 1~

          "Hmm.. How can I say this? Hottie alert! I can't wait to see what he's packing under that shirt! *wink* I can already say that he's madly in love with me! Hee hee.   What's the point of the other contestants showing up? I got them beat in beauty, and money. You name it, I got it! *wink*" Relena says.

          "The horror… I've never seen so much pink. Unfortunately pink is a major turn off for me. And she's so rude! She throws the rose I give her aside because it's not pink!!! Jeeze…" Heero glares at the camera.

~~~~~

          A girl with very, very long blonde hair walks over. Heero looks up and almost screams in horror but doesn't. He calms down and looks at the girl with strange, alright down right freaky eyebrows.

          "My name is Dorothy Catalonia." The freaky eyebrow girl says.

          "H.. H… Heero Y.. yuy. It's a p…p..pleasure." Heero stammers handing her a yellow rose. She hug briefly.

~1 on 1~

          "Oh my… lord… What the hell is up with her eyebrows. Look at her eyebrows… they're soooo pointy. I mean… there just out there! Please tell me they're not all freaks of nature!" Heero says.

          "Hahaha! He is all over me. Seriously, did you see the way he was stunned by my beauty?" Dorothy laughs.

          "Hmm… I wonder if I can get in his pants…" Relena says thinking to herself.

~~~~~

          "Hello sir, My name is Sylvia Noventa."  A blonde haired girl said and curtseyed.

          "Hello, my name is Heero Yuy." Heero smiled handing her a white rose.

          "Oh it's beautiful! Thank Heero." Sylvia smiled taking the rose.

~1 on 1~

          "Hmm He seems nice." Sylvia says.

          "So far she seems to be the only normal person." Heero sighs.

~~~~~

          An ambulance pulled up and a woman with brown hair in croissant roll thing stepped out.

          "Hello my name is Sally Po." The woman smiled looking down at Heero.

          "Heero Yuy." Heero says handing her the rose. As Heero turned away Sally stood behind him. She smiled wickedly and grabbed his butt.

          "What the!?" Heero spun around and glared at her.

          "What? I didn't do anything." Sally said innocently.

          "Well, I was thinking we'd go for a little swim and talk. What do you guys say?" Heero explains.

          "Sure!" The girls smile and run off to change. 

          Relena comes out wearing a pink bikini. Dorothy come out wearing a green camouflage tankini. Sylvia was wearing a red one piece and Sally was came out wearing a blue string bikini that was quite reveling.  The five hopped into the Jacuzzi.

          "Well, I want my guy to start a beautiful war just for me!" Dorothy said dreamily.

          "Well I think war is disgusting and we should all believe in total pacifism!" Relena says.

          "War is beautiful, pacifism is for sissy's." Dorothy shot.

          "Anyways, girls! Come on" Heero says breaking up the cat fight and climbing out of the Jacuzzi. The girls followed.

          "As you know the show is called elimidate and each round I have to elimidate someone. And I have chosen to elimidate… you Relena."

          "WHAT!?!? You must be kidding. You DARE to elimidate me? Queen Relena Darlain Peacecraft!?!? You'll regret this Heero Yuy!" Relena screamed.

          "I'm sorry hun, but buh bye." Sally says smiling evilly as she leans on Heero's shoulders. Relena growled and stomped away.

~*~ ROUND TWO ~*~

          "Here we are girls, I was planning on next we'd go get a bite to eat at the Olive Garden. So what do you all think?" Heero says.

          "Sure, sounds great." The girls said. Later on they arrived at Olive Garden wearing slightly formal cloths. As they were waiting to be seated, the girls started fight again and Heero decided to let them be. He ran into a boy with violet eyes and long chestnut hair in a braid.

          "Oh, hey sorry man!" The boy said.

          "It's ok. My name is Heero Yuy, what yours." Heero says a half smile on his face.

          "Duo. Duo Maxwell." The boy said a wide grin on her face.

          "Heeeero! We're being seated c'mon!" One of the girls called. Heero rolled his eyes.

          "Jeeze! One guy with three girls? Pretty lucky if you ask me." Duo said with a wink.

          "Heh, I'm on the show ElimiDate." Heero explained.

          "Hey, cool! I've seen that show a few times!" Duo said and Heero returned to sit with the girls. They ordered their drinks and the girls were doing their best to 'show off'. 

          "I'm sorry, but I think men want _women not little girls." Sally shot._

          "Yeah, well…" Sylvia says trailing off deciding not to get in an argument. When they were done with their food, the round was finally over.

          "It's that time, I gotta ElimiDate someone. And I ElimiDate Sylvia, I'm sorry, but you didn't really talk much. Nice meeting you." Heero says. Sylvia nods and walks away. The group got up to leave when Heero is slammed into the ground by a pink blur. Relena smiled evilly but was soon pulled off Heero by security and she was led away kicking and screaming while everyone stared at the pink clad freak.

~*~ Round 3~*~

          The group arrived at a dance club.  Sally dragged Heero on to the floor and started pulling some moves on him. 'Heh, this is no competition, I just gotta show 'im what he's getting at the end of tonight' Sally thought as she used some quite suggestive dance moves on him. Dorothy laughed her annoying laugh and grabbed Heero's wrist dragging him to the other side of the room, pulling her own dance movies on him. This continued on for about ten minutes. The two got into yet _another fight and Heero slipped aside, running into the boy from the Olive Garden._

          "Hey, Heero!" Duo smiled as they started talking, the girls not noticing him and Duo. The girls finally walked over they had been at dance club and spent most of it fighting while Heero and Duo 'talked'. 

          "So Heero honey, it's about time you elimidate this little twirp." Sally said clinging to his arm.

          "I'm going to ElimiDate… BOTH of you!" Heero said and the girls stared at him.

          "What the hell do you mean by that!" Sally demanded.

          "Well, Dorothy, I'm elimidating you because… you eyebrows are just too damn freaky!! And Sally… your just a perverted slut who needs to get a life!" Heero explained.

          "You can't do that! Can he _do that!?!?" The girls shouted as security dragged them away. Heero smiled turning to Duo._

          "Besides, I think I've found my date for tonight. C'mon Duo." Heero said dragging the boy to the dance floor. And so they spent the rest of the night together.

          "Hee-Chan… I never knew you were a yaoi boy…" Duo said quietly watching the sunrise as he sat next to Heero.

          "I didn't either… guess you could call it love at first sight?"

          "All thanks to some stupid show that stuck you with a bunch of freaks." Duo whispered.

~Owari~

~Authors~Notes~

          Uhm… ok… this got rushed in the end… What do you all think? It's kinda crappy but it was hard to do.


End file.
